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Do you have the tendency to transform the more or less frustrating problems, difficulties, and hassles of life into horrors, awful and terrible things, and intolerable catastrophes?
If so, you have most probably noticed that your thinking this way caused a significant increase in your anxiety.
Let's consider the following examples:
Physical Dangers
Before a dog that's growling, Mary thinks: "Not only could this dog bite me, but such a situation would be displeasing and annoying." Before the same dog, John thinks: "Not only could this dog bite me, but such a situation would be terrible and unbearable."
In this first example, needless to say that John's anxiety will be more bold and intense than Mary's anxiety.
Non Physical Dangers
Paul is asked to say a few words at the end of a professional meeting. He thinks: "I could mumble and get tangled in my words; such a situation would be unpleasant." In the face of the same circumstances, Denise thinks: "I could mumble and get tangled in my words; such a situation would be awful, terrible, horrible, and unbearable."
Once again, it is obvious that Denise's anxiety-mostly because of her thinking in "I-can't-stand-it" terms-will be way more intense than Paul's anxiety.
Let us ask the following question: What is an unbearable event or situation? Now, you will most probably agree with me that, by definition, this is an event or situation that we cannot bear, tolerate, or stand. But, are such events or situations really exist? Let's see...
- Hundreds of people laugh at you in chorus. Unpleasant or intolerable?
- Your romantic partner leaves you. Unpleasant or unbearable?
- Your boss yells at you. Unpleasant or intolerable?
- You neighbor thinks you are nothing but an idiot. Unpleasant or unbearable?
- You are being cheated by your broker. Unpleasant or intolerable?
- Your son is addicted to drugs. Unpleasant or unbearable?
- Your house burns down. Unpleasant or intolerable?
Let's face it: All of this-and much, much more!-may very well be unpleasant, painful, costly, unfavorable, frustrating... but all of this is also bearable and tolerable. In other words, we are able to stand or bear way more than we think we can, and this affirmation is very easy to demonstrate.
In this regard, here's a little exercise for you.
Choose a thing-anyone will do-that you proclaim to be unbearable or intolerable, and then ask yourself how long you would bear or tolerate it if you were given a considerable sum of money each time this thing manifests itself. For example, fifty thousand dollars each time you are given a roasting by your boss, or a hundred thousand dollars each time your romantic partner cheats on you. If you categorically refuse the money offer, then imagine your nails being pulled off, one by one, for each event or situation that you refuse to bear or tolerate.
If you are like me, chances are you are now willing to bear or tolerate these events and situations that you previously proclaimed to be unbearable or intolerable. Now, the next logical question is: Have you suddenly become able to bear or tolerate these events or situations, or have you not always been able to do so?
You see, we often hesitate to acknowledge that we can bear and tolerate-more or less with difficulty-any event or situation, because we wrongly believe that doing so will automatically force us to endure any event or situation. That is very far from the truth. While we are not obligated to bear or tolerate anything, it is possible for us to bear or tolerate everything.
In fact, if we are careful not to overestimate the dangers that threaten us, on the one hand, and to underestimate our capacity to deal with them, on the other hand, our anxiety should-at least, most of the time-remain moderate.
On the other side, if we are really exposed to an extremely dangerous event or situation in front of which we are totally helpless, not only we won't survive it but our anxiety-although exceptionally intense-will be brief.
For example, suppose you are aboard a plane that is about to crash. Not only will the danger be extreme, but your capacity to come out of it unharmed will probably be zero.
To sum it up: An exceptionally intense and brief anxiety about an extremely dangerous event will most probably end with our passing, and, consequently, a permanent interruption of our ability to think. And since the main cause of our anxiety lies in the thoughts we have in mind about events, people, and things, this unenjoyable emotion will also disappear on a permanent basis.
In an upcoming article, I will explore with you another way to help you play down the significance of the dangers-physical and non physical-that threaten you and your ability to deal with them.
Chantal Beaupre is an Emotional Mastery Coach, a Naturopath, an Independent Licensed LifeSuccess Consultant, and a business partner of Bob Proctor-as seen in "The Secret" movie. Her passion is to provide men and women who are ready to raise their level of happiness and improve the quality of their lives with practical tools, challenging ideas, resources, and helpful information through the power of the Internet.
Chantal's newest eBook, "It's The Thought That Counts!," co-authored with Ali Brown, Ariane de Bonvoisin, Eva Gregory, Guy Finley, Jeanna Gabellini, Jim Donovan, Dr. Joe Rubino, Kathleen Gage, Mary Allen, and a host of other leading experts in the happiness arena can be downloaded for FREE on the Web.
Claim your FREE copy of this eBook NOW!
http://www.itsthethoughtthatcountsebook.com



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